When Your Body Feels Different

You look in the mirror and notice something has changed.

Perhaps your body shape is different and the clothes that once fitted comfortably don't sit quite the same way. I hear many women say, “my waist is thickening” but I'm not doing anything different. Then there are the niggly aches and pains that have only recently made themselves known.

You might find yourself thinking, “What's happening to me?” It's not necessarily about wanting to look younger or trying to get back to the body you had twenty years ago. It’s simply about wanting to feel comfortable, strong and confident in the body you have today.

And when that starts to change, it can be unsettling.

It's not always one thing

You may notice a change in your weight on the scales even though nothing has really changed with your diet.  Perhaps you're not sleeping well. You have trouble going to sleep and then wake during the night often more than once and then struggle to get back to sleep. The next day starts with you already feeling tired.

This affects your energy and you might find yourself avoiding activities you once enjoyed because you just don’t have the energy or motivation to do much at all.

Then there’s the brain fog, you forget what you were saying and feel as though you are losing your edge. There are days where you feel anxious but you cannot say why you feel that way.  

It's tempting to look for one a single explanation.

Is it menopause? Is it my weight? Am I getting older? Do I need to exercise more? Am I sick?

Sometimes one factor may be particularly significant. But often, several things are happening together. Hormonal changes can influence sleep, stress, body composition and how you feel. Poor sleep can affect appetite, mood and energy. Stress can influence our habits and affect our sleep. Pain or stiffness can change how much we move and this in turn can affect strength and confidence.

At times you feel you are in a cycle with no end but these experiences can be interconnected, although the reasons behind them won't be the same for every woman.

Your body doesn't operate as a collection of separate parts. And neither does your life.

When the things that used to work no longer seem to

Perhaps you've always been reasonably active, eaten well, managed your weight and had routines that worked for you. But now you're doing many of the same things and getting different results and this can be incredibly frustrating.

You might respond by eating less, exercising harder or pushing yourself to do more. Or perhaps you do the opposite. You become discouraged and gradually stop doing some of the things you once enjoyed. Neither response necessarily addresses what's actually happening.

Our bodies change throughout life. Hormonal transitions, changes in muscle mass, health conditions, sleep, stress and activity levels can all influence how we feel and function. The approach that worked for you ten years ago may not be the most appropriate one today.

And perhaps that's worth considering before deciding that you simply need more willpower or need to push harder.

It's about more than what you see in the mirror

When we talk about changes in our bodies, conversations often turn quickly to weight and appearance. But I think there's a much bigger conversation to be had.

What about how your body feels?

Can you move comfortably?

Do you have the strength and energy to do the things you enjoy?

Are you sleeping well enough to feel rested?

Do you feel confident being active, or have pain and stiffness started influencing what you're prepared to do? And how are these changes affecting the way you feel about yourself?

For one woman, the greatest frustration might be weight gain and for another it might be waking exhausted every morning. Someone else may be worried about losing strength, developing joint problems or no longer being able to enjoy activities that have always been part of their life.

The issue that matters most to you may not be the one that matters most to someone else.

That's why I believe the conversation needs to begin with the woman, not simply the symptom.

And understanding what's happening in your body is an important part of that conversation.

Not to be dismissed with “It's just your age” or “Welcome to menopause”, as though these changes are something you should simply accept without question.

Thankfully, in recent years we have seen a greater understanding of what happens in women’s bodies as they enter the middle years and beyond. Unfortunately, there is still misinformation out there and I have spoken with women who are overwhelmed by conflicting advice about what they should eat, how they should exercise or which latest supplement or solution they should try.

Menopause is an important part of this conversation for many women, but it isn't the explanation for everything. That's why it's important to speak with your GP about persistent fatigue, unexplained weight changes, pain, dizziness or other symptoms that are unusual for you, rather than automatically attributing everything to menopause or ageing.

Understanding what's happening creates a better starting point for making informed choices. And those choices need to take account of your health, your circumstances, your preferences and the life you're actually living.

Perhaps it's time to work with your body differently

I don't believe the answer is always to push harder. Exercise is enormously beneficial, but the type, intensity and amount of movement need to be appropriate for the individual. Recovery, sleep, existing health conditions and the demands of everyday life all matter.

Sometimes the answer isn't doing more. It's finding a better balance.

More often than not, it's about changing the approach. Movement may need to focus more on strength, mobility and joint health. Sleep may need greater attention. Nutrition may need to reflect changing needs rather than another restrictive diet. You may need to reconsider how much you're asking of yourself and whether you're allowing enough time for rest and recovery.

Or perhaps the first step is simply recognising that something has changed and giving yourself permission to investigate it. That doesn't mean accepting that you must feel less healthy, less capable or less comfortable as you get older. It means recognising that looking after yourself today may require something different from what worked in the past.

What would you like to feel different?

I think this is a much more useful starting question than simply asking what you want to change about your body.

• Would you like to wake feeling more rested?

• Move without so much discomfort?

• Feel stronger and more confident?

• Have the energy to enjoy the activities and people that matter to you?

• Feel more comfortable in your clothes?

• Or perhaps you'd simply like to understand what's happening, so you can stop second-guessing yourself.

There isn't one correct answer because the answer is as varied as the individual. And you don't need to tackle everything at once. Sometimes the most useful changes begin when we stop treating every concern as a separate problem and start looking at the bigger picture.

Your body is changing. That doesn't mean your possibilities are disappearing.

We can't stop every change that comes with ageing, nor should we pretend that every symptom has a simple lifestyle solution. But there is a great deal we can do to support our health, strength, movement and wellbeing as our bodies change.

And I think women deserve to approach this stage of life with knowledge, confidence and choices rather than frustration, fear or the feeling that they should simply accept whatever happens.

Perhaps the question isn't:

“How do I get my old body back?”

Perhaps it's:

“How can I better understand and look after the body I have now?”

Because the body you have today is the one you're living your life in. And looking after it isn't about going backwards. It's about giving yourself the best opportunity to live well, now and into the future.

A final thought

If you've been noticing changes in your body, health or energy and you're not sure where to begin, you don't need to have all the answers before reaching out.

We can start by looking at what's happening for you, what concerns you most and what you'd like to feel different.

Your health. Your life. Your choices.

Bring me what's happening in your life, and we can start with a conversation.

Simply click the button below that will take you to the Home Page where you can Start A Conversation. We'll arrange a time to meet on Zoom, where you can tell me a little about what's happening in your life, explore what you'd like to change, and see whether working together feels right for you.

There's no obligation — just an opportunity to start a conversation.

START A CONVERSATION